


Ice Cream Truck

by fragilecapricornpanic



Series: Misc UA [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Hurt Diego Hargreeves, Missing Scene, One Shot, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Veteran Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: One shot of the missing scene that lead to the even numbers arriving in the ice cream truck in that hilarious scene in season one.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Misc UA [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077887
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Ice Cream Truck

**Author's Note:**

> The POV switches person with (nearly) each paragraph btw

The brothers watched Hazel and ChaCha get away, with no possible way to follow them without Diego’s car. “Shit.” Diego hissed, half because of the pain and half because of his wounded car. There had to be something they could do. Leaning back on the car, Diego had his attention caught by the ice cream truck he’d been hiding behind. Who knew how versatile an ice cream truck could be.

“It’s not the time for ice cream, Diego!” Klaus exclaimed, staggered that Diego thought now was an appropriate time to break into that thing. A popsicle did sound kind of good though...

Sometimes Diego wondered if Klaus’ biological mom had given birth so spontaneously that he’d landed on his head. “It’s to follow them, get in!” Diego popped the driver’s side open for Klaus, who had instinctively walked over to the passenger door. “You’re driving.” Diego instructed, gesturing with his good arm for Klaus to hurry the hell up. Was he drunk? Yes. Was he high? Yes. Could he drive? No. Did Diego care about any of those things more than his rage for Eudora’s murderers? Nope.

That didn’t sound like a good idea. It sounded like going to prison for vehicular manslaughter. Klaus looked to Ben for an impartial opinion. He just unhelpfully shrugged. “I can’t drive, you know I can’t drive!” Klaus had learned to drive in Vietnam, but could barely walk with how much booze and pills were currently in his system. He couldn’t steer himself, never mind a goddamn truck. Diego ignored him and continued hurriedly hot-wiring the truck, making a lot of pained noises.

“Shit. Move, I’ll do it.” Klaus pushed Diego away, who then rushed over to get in the other door. He rummaged through the freezer to find something cold to place on his sore arm, it thankfully wasn’t bleeding too much. A blood transfusion would require a needle. “Can I get a Firecracker?” Klaus ordered as if Diego were the ice cream man, thinking Diego was simply feeling peckish. Finally the engine started and Klaus jumped in, so Diego threw the first popsicle he could see onto Klaus’ lap.

Since he knew Klaus had never even taken a driver’s ed class, Diego realised he’d have to give him some instruction. Was it too soon to see his life flashing before his eyes? “You put your foot on that pedal, and b-“

“Yes, I know, I know! Open my popsicle.” Klaus handed it to Diego, slightly preoccupied by trying not to commit manslaughter whilst driving this thing. At least it was a similar enough size to a jeep to feel somewhat natural to drive. It wasn’t going fast. It wasn’t going fast. Why wasn’t it going fast?! Tanks moved faster than this thing. This was all so weird, did Klaus really come back from Vietnam or did he die out there too? 

They would probably have an easier time catching up with Hazel and ChaCha if they’d just walked. Pogo would move more swiftly than this. “Go faster!” Diego yelled, holding the popsicle out for Klaus to grab. He licked it instead, like Diego’s purpose right now was to help him eat a popsicle. Jackass. 

“‘Cause clearly I’m going so slow just for the hell of it!” Klaus switched the chime on in the hopes it would act like a siren and make people move out of the way. That had the opposite effect, making children flock towards them. They were like lambs to the slaughter, considering Klaus would make a breathalyzer practically explode. Ugh, dad never let them get ice cream when they were kids... Diego angrily smacked the chime off, and then smacked Klaus too. 

One of the kids threw something at the truck, pissed that they’d gotten their hopes up. Klaus flinched way more than Diego felt the noise deserved, like they were in some kind of war zone. “Brake, brake, brake, brake, brake!” Diego stressfully shouted, accurately assuming that Klaus wouldn’t know how a crossing worked when driving. The delayed and abrupt halt terrified an old lady, so they both politely waved. They looked like the most unlikely ice cream men, it couldn’t be more obvious that this truck was stolen.

The elderly woman was hobbling along the crossing ten times slower than they’d been driving, making them even further behind Hazel and ChaCha. “Do you wanna play I spy?” Klaus asked, tapping the steering wheel with boredom. The old lady had a fabulous purse, Klaus was intending on choosing that as his I spy selection.

“No, Klaus. I don’t want to play I spy.” On the tracker, Diego watched Hazel and ChaCha take a turn onto the highway. There was nothing out there for miles, hopefully Diego and Klaus could eventually catch up with them. Finally the old woman got off the road, and Klaus put his foot down. “This right, turn right!” Diego flicked on the turn signal, assuming Klaus wouldn’t know where it was. Oh god, there were so many pedestrians. They were going to murder pedestrians with an ice cream truck. That was so embarrassing.

Klaus leaned to see around Ben, who apparently thought it was fine to sit in front of half of the goddamn windshield. Being dead had made him an idiot in regards to road safety. “I don’t even know if these people are real!” Klaus blurted, unsure if the pedestrians were merely inconvenient, drug-induced hallucinations.

That didn’t settle Diego’s nerves. Not one bit. It kind of explained why Klaus kept acting as if something was blocking his view though. “They’re real, dipshit!” When Klaus successfully took the turn onto the highway without killing anyone, Diego sighed with overwhelming relief. There were no pedestrians now, there weren’t even any cars. Apart from two, far in the distance. One of them belonged to those murdering assholes. Clutching his aching arm, Diego discarded of Klaus’ popsicle when he realised he was still holding it. He didn’t know why the hell he’d held it for Klaus in the first place, Diego was the one with the bullet wound. “Go faster!”

Did this truck play the Sonic The Hedgehog theme tune? It seemed like Diego would love that, given how impossibly fast he wanted it to go. “Don’t make me turn this truck around!” Klaus sternly threatened, like a dad in an 80s sitcom. Maybe real dads said that too, Klaus had no idea. Their dad was nothing like other dads. His death happened nearly a year ago for Klaus now, but it still felt just as sweet!

With a shit load of concentration, Klaus was managing not to swerve all over the road. “You’re kinda good at this...” Diego incredulously complimented, clearly amazed by Klaus suddenly knowing how to drive. Klaus wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to tell Diego about Vietnam, but he certainly wasn’t going to do it right now; he wanted praise for this supposed natural born talent. “I know, pretty _and_ smart!” Klaus giggled, going to lick a popsicle that was no longer there. Diego was such a prick, he had one job in this scenario.

“Don’t forget modest.” Ben deadpanned, as unimpressed with Klaus as ever. This journey was so fun for Ben, it was like the world’s slowest rollercoaster. “Wait...” Ben squinted out of the windshield, seeing a faraway figure that could only be Luther. Or a gorilla that had escaped from the city zoo. “That’s Luther!”

“Oh hey, would y’look at that! I just noticed Luther!” Klaus unashamedly took the credit for that spotting. Ben began to irritatingly squeal “Weee!” out of spite, tired of this mistreatment. Only Klaus could hear it, which made it so much better as a petty punishment.

Did Luther have to be here? Diego would want any of their other siblings here instead. Except maybe Five, he was mean. “Ugh!” Diego grunted with dismay, seeing Five stood next to Number One. What the hell was going on here? Diego decided that he didn’t care, as long as he got a chance to beat the living shit out of Eudora’s murderers. “Tell them we’re here, as... backup and shit.” Diego mumbled, growing disoriented from the pain. There must be some kind of microphone linked up to the speaker on the roof.

Yikes. “When you say _we..._ ” Klaus tilted his head from side to side, not keen on his active involvement in this revenge. “I’m kinda a pacifist, you can... you can go do your macho Batman shit without me.” Klaus anxiously gulped, not ready to face more guns. He could still hear them, even when it was completely silent.

“You think I’m like Batman?” Diego murmured, feeling more complimented than he possibly ever had. Nobody was cooler than Batman, even knives weren’t cooler than Batman. Klaus briefly looked at him from the corner of his eye, seeming confused by how much that comment meant to Diego. 

“You keep ahold of that wound, buckeroo!” Klaus cheerily commanded, hoping the blood loss wasn’t too severe. It didn’t actually look like it was bleeding all that much. Either the pain was making Diego cuckoo, or he was genuinely that in love with Bruce Wayne. Both options were worrying. Although he didn’t want to get involved in this fighting, Klaus did what Diego said and let their brothers know they were here. By turning on the fun little chime. Diego’s groan of annoyance implied that wasn’t exactly what he’d meant. Beggars can’t be choosers. Five looked so tiny and adorable... it was a shame he was an asshole.

Why the hell was there a briefcase? Diego felt like he’d missed a key part of these past several days. “Go faster!”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want any more missing scenes. I don’t have time to write atm but should do soon. They don’t have to be humorous.


End file.
